Whistle
 When I was in college, they gave the girls rape whistles. Problem was, they were so weak only you and your attacker could hear them. Party favors from New Year's make a louder racket. Recently, I bought a pack of batteries that came with an "Amazing Race Adventure Kit." This Kit includes a weak-ass compass that doesn't have a magnet so much as the essence of a magnet, puny whistle, mirror, and the pièce de résistance: "Dry Compartment," in which you're supposed to store your ... microfilm? your one raisin? your self-esteem? McDonalds had a sports bottle promotional campaign back in the early '90s. The bottles came with a separate compartment for "keys, and change, and everything but the liquid you bought this dorky sports bottle for." I was the least hydrated of my soccer teammates. Oh, look. A hole. You shouldn't have. |
posted by
M at 2:42 AM
Comments on "Whistle"
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Elizabeth McClung said ...
(7:05 AM) :
post a commentyeah, how come we never had an assembly to learn how to knee guys in the groin - now that's a gift of learning that keeps on giving. (that was regarding rape but now that I think of it, it's like a "life skill")
As for McDonalds stuff - my gf wanted a pedometer and mcdonalds gave you one free if you bought a ton of condensed grease - worse pedometer ever - I finally bought her one just so she would stop complaining about it - on the other hand, was that her long term plan all the time. (if you want quality products, is McDonalds really the place to do your shopping?)