Livestrong

I'll say it: I fucking hated those Livestrong bracelets. They offended my Protestant desire for humble charity. How is my left hand not supposed to know what my right hand is doing if my right hand is sporting an ugly yellow plastic/rubber (what were those things made of?) bracelet? Now my left hand knows my right hand has shelled out some money to fight cancer, but also to tell the world (and my left hand) that it supports fighting cancer. My left hand thus becomes competitive and buys a pink bracelet to say, "Hey, you may support fighting cancer, but I support fighting tit cancer! Take that, and your disorganized 'all and any cancer,' bitch!" But, when you take off the bracelets, doesn't that kinda imply that you're no longer into fighting cancer? That you've moved on? That fighting cancer used to be hip, but now you're on to bigger and better things...like Wolfmother? My mother wears, what I think is, a white pro-life bracelet. Yes, the irony is not lost on me, especially when I'd spent a week agonizing over whether I'm late or whether some bitch has just hijacked my cycle again. (Michelle is not against cancer research. Support it. Buy the bracelets, whatever. Fight cancer. Fight it like an X-man, damn it!)